What is the first thing to do after getting engaged?

First, don’t forget to take a deep breath. We start our posts by taking deep breaths because we all need a reminder every now and then to recenter and breathe through whatever life is throwing our way. 

So, what is the number one thing you need to do before you start wedding planning?!?!?!

Set your priorities.

After you have a chance to celebrate, take some time to sit down with your partner and decide what is going to be most important to you in this process.

If you try to make everything important, nothing will be important in reality.

Get realistic with yourselves and determine 3-5 items that will be most important to you. These things will completely shape how you craft your budget, the venue that you select, the vendors that you select, and should overall be reflected in every single decision you make for your wedding.

Do not skip this part, do not pass go, and do not collect 200. I have seen way too many couples go into this process not knowing what’s important to them, then a few months later they have a wedding planning crisis. When they finally realize their priorities, it’s usually too late because they no longer have room in their budget for certain things, regret booking certain vendors, or feel guilty about buying certain decor items. I don’t want that for you. 

So, let’s give you a practical example of some priorities that previous couples of mine have had and explain why these were important.

Priority	Next Steps
“I want my wedding to be a RAGER! It has to be the talk of my town, and I want the dance floor to be full all night”	Select a high-energy DJ that aligns with the party vibe, and consider purchasing add-on services like dance floor props, cold sparklers, or live performers. Remove some formalities from the timeline to maximize time on the dancefloor.
“I want my guests to be able to drink as much as they want. There can’t be any limits on alcohol, and I only want to serve top-shelf liquor. No one should ever have an empty cup in their hand.”	Designate a large chunk of change in the budget to your catering line item to accommodate top-shelf, premium pricing. Consider adding late-night snacks so that people can continue to have food in their system with the alcohol.
“I want to look and feel like a Disney princess.”	Research and try on different dress styles that promotes princess vibes. Consider ways to make your grand entrances even grander through visual aids, props, and dramatic effects.

First of all, let’s point out that while these are fairly aligned in terms of what this couple was going for, your priorities don’t necessarily have to be like this. However, if you can identify a sort of theme or even general vibes that you’re aiming for the wedding day to resemble, it makes decision-making that much easier. The more you can articulate and pinpoint what you want to see come to fruition out of this day, the more clearly you’ll be able to tell when a decision is in line with that vision and when it’s not. 

BUT, the question we’re all thinking about remains: I don’t have infinite amounts of money, so how can I have priorities without sacrificing some things?

Without a plan, you end up wasting time and dollars from your budget on experiment projects, hoping things will start coming together without putting in the work to ensure they’re coming together, then spending more money trying to fix it when things don’t work out. Just like that bag of wilted spinach at the bottom of your fridge that you told yourself you were going to eat, those failed random thrift hauls are withering away in your basement because you weren’t clear about what you bought them for and what you were planning on using them for. Having those priorities reduces the temptation for you to spend more money that you don’t have on things not contributing to the greater vision.

So let’s go into a more practical example of what it might look like to say no to something that isn’t aligned with the three priorities we laid out in the table earlier. Let’s say you’re scrolling on Instagram and you see a tutorial for these gorgeous DIY centerpieces. Based on the priorities we laid out, your focus is on the guest experience and having a lot of fun, not really on the aesthetic side. So while that may be a really pretty centerpiece, putting more money toward decor isn’t pushing any of those priorities closer to your vision. 

Sure they’ll be beautiful and some guests will love them, but if you want guests on the dance floor, it might even be a distraction that’s keeping them away from the dance floor. And while they’re dancing, they won’t be looking at those centerpieces anyway.

Stay grounded throughout your wedding planning journey by having a list of the 3-5 things that are most important to you two that you can constantly look back on to inform every single decision that you make about your wedding.

Staying on the course will be challenging, and saying no to something is never fun, but these tips will help you to save money in the long run and to have an overall more cohesive wedding day experience. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below or DM on Instagram @transformedevents. Be empowered, encouraged, and I hope this blog post helps you along on your wedding planning journey. 

Sending you lots of love ❤️

Kayla